Understanding Engineers

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UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS!!!

Comprehending Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a Beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes wouldn't have fit anyway."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two


To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers -Take Three

A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude". The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi John. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. Then the pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And Iím going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


Comprehending Engineers -Take Four

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons;
Civil Engineers build targets.


Comprehending Engineers -Take Five


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


Comprehending Engineers -Take Six


"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."


Comprehending Engineers -Take Seven


An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with a wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." " Both?" "Yeah," replied the engineer. "If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."


Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight


An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The
frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a TALKING frog, now that's cool!

 

Our Mission

EDA, Incorporated aspires to be the engineering leader in providing safe, reliable and economical solutions to challenging problems. 



Company Profile

EDA, Incorporated provides quality-engineering services on time, on schedule and within budget.  EDA, Inc. is able to do this by performing the work correctly the first time. We accept the most challenging problems and look forward to working with the client as a team member.  EDA believes that the client should be an active participant in the work process to ensure that the product is commensurate with client expectations and is delivered within schedule and budget constraints.

EDA, Inc. belongs to the National Society of Professional Engineers (NSPE), the American Society of Mechanical Engineers (ASME), the Society of Instrument Control Engineers, Society of Professional Engineers (ISA) and the American Nuclear Society (ANS).

 


Thank You for visiting EDA.  This site provides for your use free calculators/calculators in every engineering discipline.  We also provide extensive information on all engineering areas and on many different engineering groups.  In addition, a significant collection of computer information is provided.  Please visit our Specialties page to learn what services we provide.  Use our Search Page to find a specific topic.


For free calculations go to the Calculator page.  The calculators should be used with caution.  Some of these calculators are not verified and are only intended to provide a starting point in performing design calculations.  All final design calculations should  be performed using verified and validated programs.  For more information on this, please contact EDA, Inc.


For more information on EDA, Incorporated services, please contact Client Service Manager at:

Client Service Manager

EDA, Inc.

6397 True Lane

Springfield, VA 22150

 

or email  the Client Service Manager at SiteManager@edasolutions.com .

 


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          Springfield, Va 22150
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General Information:  SiteManager@EDASolutions.com